Step 1) Realize the #1 priority for the event is to have family and close friends there to help celebrate your day.
Step 2) Find a simple but stunning venue to house said family and friends during the course of the wedding week.
Step 3) Pick the location so that ingredients for all meals are fresh, local, plentiful, and budget friendly. Hypothesis: The farther away from Paris, the more budget friendly the event.
Step 4) Also make sure that the surrounding area is scenic.
Step 5) Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.
Before moving to France last year, we had our civil ceremony in the US. Because it had to be done before moving to France (two months after getting engaged), only my brother was there to witness the simple event. We knew, however, that in a year we would have a more formal ceremony. Since we were going to be in France, it was highly likely that the ceremony would be there.
Planning a wedding in a foreign country obviously has its complications (negotiating in French, for example), but it has far more rewards. Who wouldn't want a wedding in the land of croissants, Pomerol wine, and joie de vivre? We saw the wedding as a chance to show our loved ones the best parts of France.
Thanks to a googling mistake, we found the perfect venue. Last fall we were trying to visit the house of Alexander Dumas just outside of Paris. While searching for his house, we found Chateau Dumas. It was perfect- the location, the layout, and the bonus was that the owner had plenty of experience organizing events. The chateau had enough room for 24 people. It was far enough from Paris that our guest would see what Thomas and I call the "real" France- meaning that France is more than just Paris.
The venue also had a terrific chef. She created a menu of delectable courses made from local ingredients for our rehearsal dinner and reception brunch. Everything was deliriously delicious and fresh - from the baked Parmesan crisps on the salad to the salted caramel drizzled on the white chocolate mousse. Everything was made in the chateau's kitchen. When Thomas asked for more bread (there were three different kinds), we had to wait because they had to bake more.
With the venue booked, the next big decision was to find a dress. As a woman, there is a great amount of pressure to find THE dress. Maybe I watched Say Yes to the Dress one too many times, but I dreaded the search mainly because most of the people who would help me look were stateside. Add the fact that I think spending 1000+ euros on a dress I was going to wear once was irresponsible. The solution - find a used wedding.
There were two stores in Paris that specializes in "occasions" (the french term for used dresses). One was Graine de coton in the 15th. The other, Fortunée, is in the 11th. With only two shops to try on dresses, I had to cross my fingers hoping to find one that would fit and that I liked. Forutnée, while extremely charming, only had two dresses in my size. One had lovely lace and delicate beading, but it was way too heavy for a summer wedding in the south of France. Graine de coton had a few more to choose from and had new dresses that could be rented. Thankful a friend from work came to both places to offer opinions. Trying on wedding dresses is something to be shared. There is nothing sadder than buying by yourself one of the most important dresses you'll ever wear. So after two trips to the dress shops, and (only) 5 dresses later, I had myself a new, strapless, dupioni silk dress in ivory. The style of the dress fit our simple but elegant theme. I was worried it was too simple, but a colorful bouquet of flowers was the only accessory it needed.
What I learned from planning a wedding was that 1) it doesn't have to be complicated; 2) Determine your priorities and put the bulk of the budget there; 3) country settings are not only quaint, but being away from large cities means food, flowers, and venue will be budget friendly; 4) if you invite the "right" people, you can never really go wrong (they'll appreciate whatever you plan).